A Crazy Week in Review

I finally got a few minutes to post. Things have been crazy since Monday, between starting the new job and visiting my family in Oklahoma City for the Thanksgiving holiday. I cannot believe how fast the week has gone by, but it has been a good one.

The New Job. This is definitely going to be a nice change for me. I started on Monday and spent all day in orientation, learning about everything from insurance to computers. On Tuesday and Wednesday, I actually got to focus more on my actual job. I think I will be busy and have a lot of interesting and challenging work. The office was pretty quiet because a lot of people were out for the holidays, so I haven't met everyone yet. However, everyone I have met has been helpful and nice. I am looking forward to getting into the job more in the weeks to come.

The Traffic. I think the commute will be the biggest adjustment for me. Time wise, it is not much different than my commute to work in Amarillo. However, there's more bumper-to-bumper stop-and-go traffic in Fort Worth, so it just takes longer to get places, especially in the evenings after work. I usually leave my house around 7:15 a.m., so the morning traffic is pretty easy. The company I work for has a parking garage downtown, so I don't have to fight for parking in the mornings. Our apartment is probably on the busiest highway in the area, so we probably won't live anywhere near it when we buy a house.

Running. There's been plenty of time for me to run. Unfortunately, this time of year, it is dark when I leave in the mornings and dark by the time I get home from work. That means lots of time on the treadmill on weekdays. My outside running is done on the weekends. I hate the treadmill, but my runs are getting shorter since the marathon is so close. Once the marathon is over, I will probably mix it up and take some spinning classes and maybe even a swimming lesson. Maybe a triathlon is in my future? David has started these, and it looks like fun. Who knows? I will wait and see if I ever want to run again after the marathon.

David and I did 6 miles on Thanksgiving Day here in OKC. It is hilly around my parents' home, so I got some good hill work in. We are going to do 13 miles around a lake near their house today or tomorrow before we leave to go home. That will be my last long run before the marathon. Two weeks from tomorrow, at this time, I will be running White Rock! It seemed like it was taking forever, and now it is almost here.

Thoughts on the Marathon. I truly do not believe that I am ready for this race. Between all the moving and eating over the holiday, I am scared to death that I am not prepared. Now that my runs are tapering off, I am nervous that I am not fit enough to run a marathon. Apparently these are typical thoughts during tapering, but all those articles I have read on this subject aren't making me feel any better. Basically, I am freaking out. I know I can run 20 miles at once, but it seems like it will be too long between that run and the marathon. I know I have been training for a year, but now I am afraid I haven't trained enough. Regardless, I am going to be out there in fourteen days running, whether I am ready or not. I have been told that if I run slowly, I can run forever. That's what I am hoping for. That, and to finish this stinking thing and still feel decent at the end. I hope that isn't too much to ask.

Well, I am officially a resident of Fort Worth, Texas. I even changed my blogger profile from Amarillo to Fort Worth. The move went surprisingly well (so well, in fact, that our Internet connection began working two days early, which means that I get to post before I start work on Monday). A lot of this has to do with the fact that we moved into a 700 square foot apartment, so we did not bring much stuff. Except for my clothes. Even I will admit that I have way too many clothes. All weekend, David repeatedly stated, "you have too many clothes." Despite the fact that I left many clothes behind in Amarillo, the back of my car was filled to the brim with clothes. I love clothes. Work clothes, casual clothes, running clothes--you name it, I love it.

There's been a lot going on my life over the past month. Much of what has gone on has been difficult and/or sad. However, I haven't cried. I was really beginning to wonder why I had not shed any tears during all of these changes in my life. I said goodbye to many friends, and even drove away from my house yesterday morning without shedding a tear. We moved into the apartment all day yesterday, and I was completely unemotional. Even for most of the day today, I was feeling just fine. David and I went for a short run, and then had a late lunch before he left for Amarillo. Then he left for Amarillo. We took separate cars to the restaurant, and when we finished and he pulled away, I finally cried. I didn't cry too many tears--just enough to release some of the pressure of this overwhelming situation. Frankly, as much as I miss my great friends back in Amarillo (especially you, Mindi), I realize that those people who are true friends will always be my friends. I also know that those friends are supporting me 100% in my decision to move to Fort Worth and take this new job. Even if Mindi wanted to stop being my friend, I wouldn't let her, so there. What's there to be sad about when I know these friendships still exist? Not much--I have a great new job and the same great friends. There's sadness there, but also a lot of joy.

I start my new job tomorrow. I am really excited and nervous. Interestingly, I think I am more nervous about the traffic and commute than I am about actually starting the job. I was able to meet many of the people I will work with during my interview, so that really helps. Hopefully I will have some time tomorrow evening to post about my first day experience, traffic and all.

Not surprisingly, I didn't get much running in this weekend. I had a nice run today and I am hoping to get some good runs in after work and over the Thanksgiving holiday. If I am not too exhausted after driving to Oklahoma City Wednesday after work, I will probably run the Turkey Trot 10K at a park near my parents' home. It will give me a chance to work on my speed and to burn some calories before pigging out on my mom's wonderful home-cooked meal.

Off the Job for a Few Days

We are moving today and Saturday, and DSL won't be connected at our home in Fort Worth until Monday evening. Because we will be on the road and without the Internet for a few days, I won't have access to e-mail or the blog. I will try to get back to posting next Monday or Tuesday and let everyone know about my first day at my new job. Until then, keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we travel and get settled in. I will post again as soon as I can.

My Running Top-Ten List

Let's face it. I have been running for over a year, but I am a relatively new runner. However, I have learned a lot about the sport over the past year, between training for the marathon and reading nearly every article that has been published in Runner's World magazine and on the web. Here's my top-ten list of running tips:

1. Just Try Running. My friend Mindi can attest to this one. When I decided to train for a marathon, she thought I was nuts. She just couldn't understand running or why I enjoy it so much. Then she started running. Now she has a blog about the sport. Most of us have a love-hate relationship with running. I often dread runs because I know they will be long or painful, or both. On the other hand, if I miss a run, my energy dwindles and I regret the fact that I just didn't put on my shoes and walk out the front door. Give it a try. You don't need a gym membership or a lot of fancy equipment. You can just walk out your front door and run. You may love it.

2. However, Don't Train for a Marathon to Lose Weight. I don't know how many people told me this before I started training, but it is so true. I have actually gained weight, but in a good way. I am stronger and more fit than I have ever been. I have an incredibly low resting heart rate. BUT, I am no skinnier than when I started running a year ago. Start running because you want to do something great for yourself. You will look better, but the number on the scale will not reflect all of your hard work.

3. Do Not Depend on Running Calculators. There are a million of these on the web. Trust me; I have visited almost all of them. These calculators allow you to enter a race time at a certain distance, e.g., your recent half-marathon time. Then it does some type of fancy calculation and shows projected times for other race distances, such as a 10K or marathon. I have used these on many occasions, often to find myself disappointed at the end of a race because I didn't reach my goal time. Save yourself some time and energy and just go run a race to see what you can do. You will be happier in the end if you test yourself rather than let some calculator tell you if you have won or lost your race.

4. Do Not Race to Win. By "win," I mean cross the finish line first. There are a lot of people out there who are faster than you. You will most likely never win any race, even a small one in Amarillo. You may win a medal in your age group, or you may not. The way I win races is to try to beat my personal best times for each distance. This often does not occur, but it definitely satisfies my competitive spirit.

5. In Your First Race of Each Distance, Do Not Set a Time Goal. Just see what you can do. No matter what, you will set a PR and have a reliable time to beat in your next race at that distance. I have often posted about my temptation to set a time goal in the marathon, but I am fighting this urge. Make it an accomplishment to cross the finish line. You will most likely be addicted, you won't kill yourself trying to meet an unreasonable goal, and you will want to come back for more.

6. Get Yourself Some Good Shoes. Go to a running store and have an expert examine your feet and your running style to determine what shoes work the best for you. You might not get the best deal, but you will get the right pair of shoes. Then, when you need a new pair of shoes, go on the Internet and pay less for them. It is worth the extra cash, I promise.

7. Get Yourself Some Good Running Clothes. Don't wear cotton clothes or socks. Especially socks. You will regret it. I absolutely love the Nike Tempo Track Shorts, and REI OXT Tech T-Shirts. Although they are pretty expensive, these Thorlo Micro-Mini Lite Socks are breathable, soft, and have saved my feet from many blisters.

8. Get Some BodyGlide, Immediately. BodyGlide is a miracle product. At $13 or more a stick, you may be tempted to skip this product. DO NOT skip this. You will regret it. Ask any runner about chafing or blisters on their feet, and they will tell you that this product is worth every penny.

9. Figure Out a Pre-Race/Long Run Meal. There are three meals that give me energy and do not upset my stomach before a long run. I completely avoid dairy the day before and the morning of a race or long run. Everyone is different, but these are my three meals of choice: (1) steel-cut oats topped with brown sugar, maple syrup, craisins and sliced almonds; (2) a wheat bagel topped with peanut butter, honey and banana slices; or (3) two Kashi 7-Grain waffles topped with peanut butter, honey, and unsweetened apple sauce.

10. You Don't Have to Have One, But the Garmin GPS Watch Rocks. I spent six months running without my Garmin Forerunner 405. I would spent hours mapping routes before my runs, or just running for time and hoping that I got my distance in. Honestly, this is the coolest gadget that I have ever owned. It tells your distance, your current pace, and time. If you love to analyze data after your run (i.e., if you are a nerd like me), the watch wireless downloads the data to your computer when you walk into your house after a run. It tells you how many calories you burned and your average and max heart rates. Again, you can survive without this, but running is not nearly as fun without it.

The Day After

I ran twenty miles yesterday. I cannot believe that I actually ran around Amarillo for nearly four hours. A year ago, I could not have run 8 miles, much less 20. People keep asking if the completion of the 20 miles makes me feel prepared for the marathon. I don't know the answer to this question. I know that I can run 20 miles, so that definitely gives me some confidence. I also know how painful 20 miles was, so I do not want to imagine what it will be like to tack another 6.2 miles onto the end of that run. I guess the answer is that I am as ready as I am going to be. As I have stated many times, I will finish the marathon, even if means I have to crawl across the finish line. My hope is that the combination of others running with me, the adrenaline, and the spectators cheering me on will give me the strength to finish those last miles. I haven't seen many training programs that advocate more than a 20 mile training run, especially for a first marathon. The experts who design these programs have to know more than me, right?

I have also decided that I refuse to put my desired finish time in writing. Of course, I have a time in my head, but I want to be happy saying that I finished. If I tell everyone that I just want to finish, they will be thrilled for me no matter what my time. And, in all honesty, I will be thrilled for myself. I am definitely a competitor, so my stated goal is to finish and to not be the last person to finish. That's all I am saying about that.

As for my physical condition after yesterday's run, I am definitely in pain. I had a difficult time sleeping last night because my legs were so sore. Every time I moved around, I would wake up because my legs hurt so bad. I am definitely stiff and sore, but as far as my energy goes, I am doing much better than I expected. Walking is still difficult, but I am going to take the dog for a walk today to get some of the lactic acid out of my muscles. Then I have a massage! I promised myself one for finishing 20 miles, so that will be a nice reward. I hope David doesn't expect me to do anything productive after the massage. I have to pack boxes to move on Saturday? So what? They will be there tomorrow...

Twenty Miles!

I did it. I actually ran 20 miles. Even though you would not know it if you could see me right now, I am actually very excited about this accomplishment, if for no other reason than my longest run is behind me and it is all downhill from here. This run has been haunting me for the last several weeks. I have done 17 and 18 mile runs, but 20 was definitely a huge milestone in my mind - it truly means that the end is near. If the marathon was anything like today's run, my first marathon may also be my last. Here's the play-by-play:

• Miles 1-3: I am feeling good. I am dressed appropriately, and I am happy about this because it is always a crap-shoot. It is in the 30's, so I am wearing shorts, a long-sleeve shirt over a short-sleeve shirt, and gloves. My pace is slow and steady. My iPod is working properly. When I glance at my watch near mile three, I am sure it must be broken - surely I have run more than three miles. Nope, it is working, and I have 17 more miles to go.

• Miles 4-7: I run these on the frontage road of Interstate 27. When I get to Rockwell Road and cross the bridge, I have a fresh bottle of water waiting there for me. I take a GU, and my energy picks up. The wind is blowing from the south, and it is still a little cold. However, it is nothing like my 18-mile terror in the wind, so I am feeling good. I am pain-free and feeling positive.

• Miles 8-13: I get to my bottle of water and take another GU. The temperature is heating up and I take off my gloves. "Unwritten" by Natasha Beddingfield comes on my iPod, and I am feeling pretty good. I even sing a few verses; the song ends, and fatigue starts setting in. I start thinking about how I look like a huge dork when I run. I have on an ear warmer. I am wearing my SPI Belt around my waist with my gloves tucked into it. I have my pepper spray hooked to my belt. The wind is at my back. All I have to do is run to my house. The pains start during these miles. My left knee hurts, then my right knee hurts. I keep telling myself that I have done this distance numerous times, but the thought of 7 more miles after I finish this is almost too much to bear. I am starting to get hot. I take off my ear warmer. If you have read any of my posts, you know that I do not deal well with the heat. I am adequately hydrated, but the stomach cramps start. This is not good. Keep running to the house, keep running to the house... I finally get to the house for my pre-planned restroom break. I drink some water and take two electrolyte pills to help with the cramping. I ponder plopping myself down on the couch and watching "Entourage" episodes that I have on the DVR. I talk to the dog since I haven't had a conversation with anyone in two hours. I tell myself that I have to do this, and I walk out the front door.

• Miles 14-16: I have done these miles before. This should be no problem. Then I start to run. My 4-minute break at the house has made my legs feel like lead. It is like I cannot make my legs move. After about a mile, I settle in, but I can tell that this is going to be tough. When my legs start to get tired, I tense up. My legs tense up; my whole body tenses up. I have to repeatedly take deep breaths and try to relax. Easier said than done. A little before mile 17, I stop by a water fountain in an elementary school park. I stand there for a minute or two, slurping the water and taking my GU. I am sure I look like a homeless crazy person. I am glad that none of the teachers see me and call the cops.

• Miles 17-18: Pain has set in. Every inch of my body aches. I keep telling myself that I have run this distance before, but it is like my legs know that miles 19 and 20 are still to come. It is like they know the pain I will feel in only a few minutes. I am on my normal route, but I have somehow misjudged the distance. Apparently running this distance can make one delusional. I decide to just to run and see where I end up. Thank goodness for my GPS watch. I spend these two miles telling myself that I should not walk because it will just take me even longer to finish. I really want to walk.

• Miles 19-20: Uncharted territory. I have never attempted this distance. I try to tell myself to be proud, that I am doing something that I have never done before. My body's response is a strong desire to sit. Not walk, just sit. Not just sit, to lie down in some one's yard and take a nap. I do not want to put one foot in front of the other. I encounter a man with a dog and wave. For my pride, even though I do not know this person, I will keep running. I run all the way to my house and realize I still have 0.7 left. Should I just quit? It is close enough. No one will ever know. I run past the man with the dog again. I look like a crazy person running in circles, so I just look at the ground. Then I turn around and run past the man and dog again. I am sure he is on his way home to tell his wife about the crazy person he saw running in circles. I finally hit 20 miles. I let out a strange noise, a combination of a sigh of relief and a cry for help. I am not sure I can walk the 20 feet to my garage to let myself in.

• After My Run: I get immediately into my car. It is after 1:00 p.m., and I am famished. I look at my watch and see that I have burned 2215 calories! Yea! I drive myself to the nearest Chick-Fil-A and order lunch and a cookies and cream milkshake. It was the best milkshake I have ever tasted in my life. I also picked up my ice and went home to take an ice bath. These stink, but I truly believe that these baths are a big reason that I have not been injured in the last year. After a shower and a long nap, I am here writing this. I am definitely still in pain. I like to settle into one position and not move. Movement does not feel good to me. My walk looks like that of a woman who is 9 months pregnant and ready to give birth at any moment, a "pregnancy waddle," if you will. It isn't cute, especially considering that I don't have pregnancy as an excuse.

I am definitely proud of finishing twenty miles. I began training for this marathon over a year ago, and this 20 mile run has been in my mind the entire time. Now, with only 25 days left until White Rock, I don't have much more training left to do. Thank goodness this one is over. I can't believe that on December 14th I will run 20 miles + 6.2 more miles. I can't think of anything more fun...

I am heading out for my 20-miler...

At 9:oo this morning, I will leave the house to drop water on my route, and then I will start my 20-mile run. I have been putting off this run for a week now, but this is truly the first free morning I have had in a long time. I am a little nervous about the temperature, because the weather man just said it feels like 21 degrees outside right now. However, it is supposed to get up to 72 degrees today. I am praying for a light breeze, rather than those 30 mph gusts I encountered on my 18-miler. If I have any energy after all this is over, I will post about my run later today.

Going-Away Party

During our time in Amarillo, David and I have been blessed with wonderful friends. Our friends Mindi and Jonathan threw us a going-away party this past Thursday, and many people came to wish us well. We had a great group of friends from my work, as well as several of our running buddies. Although I am definitely sad to be leaving my hometown of Amarillo, I am sure that I have made the right decision to take a new job and move to Fort Worth. I am looking forward to maintaining friendships with all the great people I have met in Amarillo, as well as making new friends in my new city.

Saying Goodbye to the "Life I've Planned"

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell

When I started this blog, I thought I would post exclusively about my marathon training and running. However, I soon discovered that running is only part of what it takes to train for a marathon, just like planning is only part of what it takes to truly live my life.

A little more than three years ago, I began my first job as an attorney in a law firm. When I started my job in September 2005, I was not even a licensed attorney. Now I have been licensed and trained in my profession for three years. I have always read those studies that say that people will change jobs multiple times before they retire, but I never expected myself to be one of those people.

I like stability; in fact, I love stability. Planning makes me feel stable. Planning to stay at my law firm, make partner, and retire here definitely made me feel stable. When a new offer literally fell into my lap, it was difficult for me to consider it, because it did not fit into my plans. I planned on living in my house, working at my job, and running a marathon on December 14th. David and I planned on celebrating our 30th birthdays next year right here in Amarillo with our good friends. But I took a leap of faith, and a week from Friday I officially be a resident of Fort Worth, Texas. This definitely was not planned, and I am definitely stressed about the transition. However, I have a peace about my decision. I am proud that I had the courage to take a risk, but I am also sad about leaving Amarillo, a community that means so much to me.

Friday will be my last day at work. I am mentally preparing myself for what is sure to be a bittersweet day. Although I have worked many jobs, this is my first "real" job. Even though I am extremely excited about my new employment, it is going to be difficult for me to say goodbye to the place where I have worked day in and day out for the last three years. More than saying goodbye to the place, I am going to be saying goodbye to many friends that I have made here over the years. I am comforting myself with the fact that these friendships are not ending; they are just changing. I feel comfort in the fact that I cannot even know the possibilities that these friendships hold for me, nor can I possibly know (or plan for) the new friendships I will make in Fort Worth.

This last month and a half definitely did not go according to plan with regard to my training or my life. It may mean that my time at White Rock is slower than I would like, and I am getting comfortable with that possibility. However, although it may not turn out according to the way I planned it several months back, I am still going to run it and take it all in with my friends and family.

Best Laid Plans

I am list maker, a planner, and scheduler. Those are my things. I do them well. The implementation of the list, plan or schedule is often my downfall. For instance, my marathon training plan is a three-page color-coded Excel spreadsheet. It is beautiful: long weeks are orange, short weeks are blue, and marathon week is yellow. It has been posted on my refrigerator, along with the marathon course map, since August. It was, of course, edited, retyped, and edited again.

However, this wonderful spreadsheet fails to take life into account. There was no plan for the phone call I received in October offering me an interview, or for my decision to put my house on the market, quit a job, move, and start a new job in the span of four weeks. These things appear nowhere on my beautiful spreadsheet. Like almost all the other runners I know, my training plan accounts for only perfect days. Those days when the wind is not blowing 30 mph, when I have had 8 great hours of sleep, and when I get to leave work at 5:30. In other words, unusual days in my life.

For instance, when I typed up that schedule in July, I had the weekend of November 8th and 9th open. I assumed that I would be at home, run a 5-miler on Saturday and a 20-miler on Sunday. Instead, I was in Fort Worth with my husband, running around town for two straight days looking a what seems like 100 different apartments. On Sunday, we made a decision and leased an apartment.

I am sure you know where this is going, but my 20-miler did not happen on Sunday. I got in 5 miles on the treadmill on Saturday morning at the hotel, and David and I ran 8 miles on a trail Sunday morning before rushing back to the hotel to get ready, lease the apartment, and hop on a plane back to Amarillo. Even with all of those excuses, I feel guilty. Even knowing that I can do my 20-miler this coming weekend, and knowing that I have all next week off to pack up my things and run, I still feel guilty.

In the end, the beautiful spreadsheet is meaningless unless I actually put in the miles. This is the first time I have really missed a long run, and I definitely have time to make up my 20-miler and at least get in another 18 or 20 mile run before the marathon, but I really hate the fact that my spreadsheet is messed up. I hate it so much that I going to stop posting right now so I can get it updated...

One Goal Down, One to Go

$2500!!

Today, I met my goal of raising $2,500 for Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children. Thank you so much to everyone who donated to this wonderful cause. If you haven't donated yet, I am still happy to collect your donation for the hospital.

I suppose this means you all want me to actually run a marathon now? I will try to post about my progress toward that goal later today.

"Refusal to Admit the Truth or Reality"

I am in denial. You know, denial, defined as "refusal to admit the truth or reality." That's definitely me. I am in the process of leaving my first real job, selling my first house, preparing for a marathon, and moving to a new city. I am excited, but I am also pretty sure that I am in denial. When the opportunity for this new job arose, David and I spent many nights discussing the pros and cons of packing up and leaving Amarillo. I am overwhelmed with all the wonderful things in my life in Amarillo - great friends, a wonderful home, and great memories. I know that we will eventually find all of those things in Fort Worth, but the reality of starting over is pretty scary. I have been really surprised that I have not cried much over the past few weeks, but the reality of what I am about to do is definitely hard to face right now.

Three months ago, I was content working away in my job of three years, living in my house, and training for the marathon. The reservations for the marathon trip have been made for months. I had visions of the flight home on Sunday after the marathon, full of pride for accomplishing a huge goal in my life, and showing up at work the following Monday to share the news of my accomplishment with my co-workers who have supported and sponsored me in my training. Now the race is 37 days away, and by the time it arrives, I will have worked in Fort Worth for three weeks. I will have been away from my house for three weeks, I will have been away from good friends for three weeks. Even as I type these things, I do not truly believe that they are happening. With all the craziness in my life, denial is the only thing getting me through. Without denial, I might not run my miles this weekend because I would be so worried about everything else that is going on in my life. Without denial, I would probably be at home in bed crying about having to leave my good friend Mindi. Being "in denial" has such a negative connotation, but I honestly believe it is what is getting me through my days at this point. I know at some point I will cross over to sadness, but for now, I am content in this delusional emotional state.

The Finish Line is in Sight...

OK, so I will never be the person in the photo, crossing the finish line in 2:29. Wouldn't it be cool to run through the finish-line tape? I have always wanted to do that! I am also keenly aware that I never will, and that's fine, too. But it would be really cool.

The White Rock Marathon is now only 38 days away! I have already run 17 and 18 mile long runs, but my 20 and 22 mile long runs loom on the horizon. This weekend, my husband and I are flying down to Fort Worth to look at apartments to live in temporarily while we try to sell our home in Amarillo and get adjusted to life in Fort Worth. That means a 20-miler on Sunday morning in Fort Worth, which will be good for me because I will get a chance to adjust to the climate down there. Sunday's run should take me close to four hours. Even though it will be really tough, I am glad that I won't have to contend with that West Texas wind!

For obvious reasons, the thought of my 20-mile run has not inspired me to run much this week. I decided to take off Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday after the half marathon, which means that I start running again tomorrow. Yuck! Tomorrow? Really? It has already been three full days since the marathon? My legs still feel like jello. David says I just need to get my legs moving again, so I am going to hit the road again tomorrow and just see what happens! Of course, I take everything David says with a grain of salt, considering he's been working out like a mad man since Monday. He's super-human, and I am not. I understand this, he does not.

Last year when I made the decision to make the White Rock Marathon my first, I did so because the marathon benefits Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children, where I was a patient as a child. Not only have a set a goal of finishing the marathon, I have also committed myself to raising $2,500 for the hospital. With all the craziness in the economy, I was scared that I would not be able to reach this goal. However, like always, my friends and family have supported me. As of today, I have raised $2,160, which is 86% of my goal. Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has donated. I will run my heart out for you on December 14th!

Me Against Myself

I subscribe to Runner's World magazine's "Daily Kick in the Butt" e-mail service. This service sends me a quote every day, and sometimes the quotes are too good not to share. Here's today's inspiration:

"In running it is man against himself, the cruelest of opponents. The other runners are not the real enemies. His adversary lies within him, in his ability with brain and heart to master himself and his emotions." - GLENN CUNNINGHAM, American runner in the 1930s

Every time I hit the road, especially for my long runs, I realize that no one can make me start or stop running. It it is my decision alone. Let's face it: my marathon will be a competition with myself and no one else. I will never win a marathon. The true winners of the race will finish many hours before I cross the finish line. The way I "win" at White Rock is to finish the darn thing and prove to myself that I can do it. At this point in my training, it is less about my physical fitness and more about my mental health. I am hoping and praying that I can keep it all together in the next 39 days with moving and changing jobs. My positive take on this is that it will give me something else to focus on while I am tapering for the marathon.

I am still very sore from last weekend's half marathon. I attribute my soreness to the heat and the long car ride home. Although I am unsure if it is a good idea, I am giving myself a few days off this week to recover and mentally prepare for this weekend's 20-miler. I think this is the best idea for me, especially in light of the fact that was difficult for me to walk from my car to my office this morning! I will keep you posted on my progress...

Photos From the Dallas Running Club Half Marathon

Dallas Running Club Half Marathon: Time to Reevaluate!

I do not even know where to begin. Did I have fun this weekend? Yes and no. Did I learn a lot about myself and running this weekend? Definitely.

Starting with the Fun: We went to Dallas with our friends Mindi and Jonathan. Our original plan was to leave work a little early on Friday and drive to Wichita Falls to stay with Mindi's sister Lori on Saturday evening. However, Lori's daughter caught some type of stomach bug and was throwing up. Knowing that we had all trained hard for the race, we decided we better not risk picking up a stomach bug in Wichita Falls. Although Mindi and I could never be called spur-of-the-moment people, we decided to drive all the way to Dallas on Friday evening and get a hotel. We arrived in Dallas after midnight and went straight to bed. Most of the fun of this trip came on Saturday. We had a delicious breakfast at La Madeline, and I had possibly the best vanilla latte in the world. Shopping is always fun, and we got a chance to visit REI and Sephora, as well as several running specialty stores. Needless to say, we got some new stuff, and that is always fun. After a great dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, we went back to the hotel to watch Texas Tech play Texas in football. Anyone who loves football knows that this was a classic game. My only question is why all the Tech fans kept running out on the field before the game was over!

Race Preparation: My left hamstring was cramping all day Saturday, so I was nervous about how I would perform in the race. However, I was distracted about all my preparation. It usually takes me hours to get everything ready for race day. I sat out all my clothes and accessories, pinned my number on my shirt, drank my water and Gatorade, and paced the room, anxious that I forgot some essential item. While I am doing all of this, David is sat in front of the TV drinking a beer and enjoying the football game. This is his version of preparation, and it seems to work well for him.

Race Day Arrives: I woke up around 5:45 a.m. Because the time changed on Sunday morning, I was even more nervous than usual about waking up too early or too late. Therefore, I set the hotel room alarm clock, got a wake-up call, and set the alarm on my cell phone. Needless to say, I didn't need any of these because I was already awake. I had my race-day breakfast of a bagel with peanut butter and a banana, as well as a small cup of coffee. I was feeling great, even after I turned on the news to hear the weather man saying that it was going to be "unseasonably warm" on Sunday. I had closely monitored my water intake over the last week, and especially on Saturday, and I had a bottle of Gatorade before I went to bed. Strangely, despite all of this, I woke up with dry mouth on Sunday morning. This seemed odd to me, but I had the race-day jitters, so I didn't think about it too much. When we departed the hotel, I felt prepared for the race, both mentally and physically. Remember, my 18-mile mental battle occurred only one week before the race, so was feeling like I could do anything. Getting to the race and checking my bag went smoothly, and the the port-a-potties actually had toilet paper, which is not always the case! It was noticeably warm for November, but it was definitely tolerable, around 60 degrees at the start. After a quick warm-up, I could tell that my hamstring was going to be fine, so I was feeling really good about my chance to break 2 hours.

And They're Off: Although I had completed two half marathons before Sunday's race, those races were small, with probably 100 people or less. This race was full and capped at 4,000. This is much smaller than what I will see at White Rock, but still much larger than anything I have ever been a part of. David and I decided to line up with the 2-hour pace team and see what we could do. Because there are so many participants, every runner wears a chip on his or her shoe. This allows for both a gun time and a chip time, which means that you don't have to push through the crowd to get a good start because your chip does not start timing until you cross the start line. Probably the most shocking part of the race was the fact that people who were walking the course had lined up in the 2 hour pace area. I basically spent the first 12 minutes of the race dodging those who were walking or running very slowly. Not that a 2 hour half marathon is an elite time, but it does require under ten minute mile pace. There was absolutely no benefit in these people lining up so close to the start, and I noticed the frustration on many runner's faces as they wove in and out of these slower participants.

Settling In: As I predicted in last Friday's post, David took off at the beginning of the race. Despite the heat, multiple beers the evening before the race, and complaints of a "hip pointer," he was, as usual, in prime form. I saw him for probably 30 seconds during the first mile, and then I never saw him again until I crossed the finish line. The reason I chose to run this half marathon is because it contains much of the White Rock Marathon course. I have been told that White Rock is a relatively flat course. However, now I know that everything is relative - the course I ran yesterday is not flat. Maybe in a Boston qualifier's mind it is flat, but to a first time marathoner, it is mountainous! Because I had reviewed the course map numerous times in the days leading up to the race, I knew the first few miles would be hilly. However, I had no idea that the entire course would be hilly (at least compared to my courses in Amarillo).

I felt like I was doing everything right, and yet I felt so bad. I took water at all the water stops along the course, walking through each of them so that I could give myself a short break. I drank only water, because I have never trained with Gatorade. The sweetness of Gatorade is great after a run, but it doesn't feel very good in my stomach during a run. In addition, I took a GU at 35-minutes, 1:15, and 1:35. The first two GUs didn't seem to do much for me, but the last one gave me a serious energy boost. At the time I took it, I was in the shade and the heat wasn't effecting me too much. However, the last three miles were in the sun. For approximately the last three miles, I ran faster than I had the entire race, and felt worse than I had the entire race. At one point, I got goose bumps. Yes, in 75-degree, humid weather, I got goose bumps. It was an odd sensation that has only happened to me once before, in a race that was also held on a hot day. I have a tendency to push myself in these races, mainly at the end, because I know that the faster I run, the sooner I will cross the finish line. On several occasions during these last three miles, I felt the urge to walk. Of course, that made me keep running. My pride refuses to let me walk the last three miles of a race.

Finishing the Race: I pushed hard to the finish line and finished in a time of 2:05:29. That's really not bad for a hilly course on a hot day, but I was of course disappointed that I did not beat my best time. David, who had (of course) finished under 2 hours, was at the finish line to meet me. I remember walking through the line to pick up my finisher's medal and grabbing his hand. He immediately noticed that I did not feel well. As we started walking towards the expo area, I started to feel dizzy and David had to help me walk. I finally found an area in the grass, where I sat down and took off my hat, shoes and socks. David poured some water over me, and I sat and cooled off. I have no doubt that I looked like death. I think it was a minor case of heat exhaustion. After about 10 or 15 minutes, I started feeling better and I was able to drink water, Gatorade, and eat a banana.

What I Learned This Weekend:

1. It is time to re-evaluate my marathon time goal. In fact, I realized that I need to be happy just finishing my first marathon. I was hoping for a time of between 4:00 and 4:15, but it looks like 4:30 or over is a more realistic time for me at this point.
2. I need to cut myself some slack. I ran a 2:05:29 in not-so-great conditions. That is definitely not a bad time, especially considering that I was not feeling well during the race. This also means that I need to pay attention to my body. I will continue to walk through the water stops and give myself a break if I need one.
3. I need to enjoy the journey. Yesterday, I ran around a beautiful lake in a beautiful neighborhood. I probably remember 2 of the hundreds of houses I passed during the race. It is my hope that during the marathon I can stop to high-five my family and take it all in. I will never get to experience finishing my first marathon again, and I will set a personal record no matter what my time!

   Click here to see the Dallas Morning News photo slide show of the race.