Why Do People Run Marathons?

I recently Googled the question "why do people run marathons"? Maybe it is because I am asking myself why I chose to participate in an event that requires months of grueling training (including a 17-miler coming up on Sunday). However, the results were often humorous, so I decided to share.

The Serious: "Are Too Many People Trying to Run Marathons?" (NPR). Here are my favorite comments from the article:

There's no question that running a marathon without proper training is just plain foolish. When Lance Armstrong ran the NYC Marathon last year, he was quoted as saying, "Even after experiencing one of the hardest days of the Tour nothing has ever left me feeling this bad...[it was] the hardest physical thing I have ever done." Even though he was in terrific shape for cycling, he hadn't put in the necessary running miles. I've run two marathons now, and I'd like to think I'll run one again. But you've got to train. And if necessary, you've got to stop. It's a serious business. Sent by Sarah 12:43 PM ET 11-02-2007

Yet again, a cautionary tale about the dangers of running - this, even though, as a group, runners are in far better shape than the general population, generally enjoy running, and feel better when they run than when they don't. Eight people may die running a marathon? If 430,000 people run marathons in given year, that's a death rate of 0.00002%. That means a marathoner is more likely to be murdered than to die during a marathon. Sent by Vic Mortimer 9:33 PM ET 11-02-2007

Absolutely. At one time the marathon was considered a serious competition for people who had trained for years and were extremely fit. Now it is a social gathering of people with their water belts, gels, tech gadgets etc. Many of these people have everything but fitness. I would like to see strict performance standards to enter the marathon. If people want to do their silly jog/walk routine they can do it any day of the week anywhere they want. While even highly trained athletes can suffer a tragic death as evidenced by yesterday's US Olympic Trials, unfit people are putting themselves at serious risk. Sent by Ken 7:24 AM ET 11-04-2007

You could die on your couch...when are people going to quit protecting others from living their life the way they choose? If someone wants to attempt a marathon let them. Sent by Brad Jessee 4:41 PM ET 01-16-2008

The Funny: "Not Hating Just Saying: People That Run Marathons" This result was too good not to share, and now I know what normal people think of me when I say I am running a marathon:

I'm not hating, but people that run marathons are lame as hell. Now, I'm not talking about Olympic runners and Kenyans and s*** - they are cool. Basically, because they win and they do it for a living. No, I'm talking about your girlfriend that ran the Boston Marathon last year because she thought it would be fun. Fun!? You know how I know you suck? You think Marathons are "fun." This is how these "fun" events work. First, you get to pay like $60 to $100 just for the opportunity to have a fun-filled morning. And when I say morning, I mean like 5AM to 9AM on a f*****g Saturday. The only time you have fun at 5AM in the morning is if you're still up, you're still drunk, and you know in a little while you are about to go to sleep. That, coupled with the fact that you know that you won't have to wake up at a b******t hour in the morning so that you can run until you feel like you're going to die. And you pay for this s**t?

Now, there are those out there who say, "Hey, it's not necessarily fun to run a marathon, but I just wanted to see if I could do it." Ok fine, point taken, but you could do that s**t for free, you don't need to pay somebody $60. Go run right now. In fact, just take off from wherever you are right now and never come back so we don't have to see your dumb ass ever again. You know who else just wanted to run? Forrest Gump...and you know what? You kind of remind me of him, especially when he was running and that guy handed him that rag with dog s**t on it and he washed his face with it...you s******e.

It's not like you are even going to run with a bunch of cool people at these things, I mean they all think like you...and you suck. You are the type of person that wants to run a marathon so you can tell people that you are training for one and then after the race you tell people that you ran one. You think that is some cool s**t to tell someone, even though secretly any non-marathon runner is thinking about what a jerk and a waste of space you are.

Seriously, have you ever been to a really broke ass country? Do you see people jogging? Probably not, but let's say on the off-chance that you do. Do you think they paid money to have the right to run? If you see someone running in a third-world country...you better run with them, because that means some s**t is going down. That's probably why Kenyans are so good at marathons - they only have one speed when they're running: Stay Alive. Let's put it this way, there is no f*****g Nicaraguan Marathon every year. And if there is, it's because some douche from Seattle or somewhere started one for him and all his friends to go to.

Not to mention that the people that run marathons are such terrible people that they try to mask their evilness through charity. There are a whole bunch of marathons that are for a cause, like raising money for cancer or some terminal illness that we haven't found a cure for yet. Now giving these charities money is a good thing, and these people need it because a lot of the people in need can no longer walk or run. But just give them the money! Don't make it so that in exchange for your donation, you make them watch you do something that they couldn't do in their wildest dreams! You are a******s for rubbing it in their faces! That's like giving a midget $20, but only after you make him watch you ride a roller coaster first. I'm not hating on people that run marathons, I'm just saying.